A Rhythm To Walk In...

Dear Friends,

A question being asked these days as we seek to know others better is no longer, “What religion are you?” or “What do you believe?” The question is “What are your spiritual and religious practices?” A few years ago, a woman in her late seventies approached me outside the gate at my house to ask if the foals (baby horses) in my corral would be for sale. I didn’t recognize her but when she introduced herself to me, I remembered she had been one of the most beautiful and popular young television actresses in the 70's. We had a nice talk about horses and living here in Sylmar and when she mentioned spiritual things, I told her I was a pastor and asked what religion she was. She immediately replied, “Catholic.” That apparently was the approved answer when you’re talking to a pastor. 

I asked her where she went to church and it turned out that she had not been to Mass since she was a young teenager. She said that today she actually considers herself to be more of a Buddhist. But when I asked her about her spiritual practices, it turned out she was Wiccan. 

Baptized as a Catholic, she wasn’t a Christian (follower of Jesus). She liked the Buddhist philosophy but was not a practitioner of Buddhism. The Wiccan “spiritual” rituals and prayers she had adopted and practiced told me who she followed and what she believed. It’s not what we “say” but what we “do” that reveals the truth about who we are.

Many label ourselves, as the actress did, by the religious identity that we think would meet the approval of others, but the terms “Christian,” “Jew” or “Muslim” may be meaningless. If you were baptized Catholic, you are considered to be one for life even if you never attended a Catholic Church since childhood. If you were born to a Jewish woman, you are a Jew for life no matter what your religious beliefs are today. If your father was Muslim you are Muslim and in some countries may even be killed if you profess another faith. But religious identity labels tell nothing about what we actually believe and what is far more revealing is the involvement level we have with our faith. 

For example, Christians with a “high level involvement” are those who attend church regularly, read their Bible and have regular personal prayer times. They sincerely and faithfully worship God. They continually self-evaluate, confess their sins and make an honest attempt to follow Jesus and become more like Him. 

There are 51 million Catholics in America but only 13% (6.6 million) have “high level involvement.” One third of all Catholics never go to church and 63% attend only a few times a year. There are 13 million Evangelical Protestants and 43% (5.5 million) have high level involvement. There are 7 million Mainline Protestants (ELCA Lutherans, Methodists, Episcopalians) and only 19% (1.4 million) have high level involvement. 

A very large majority of those who identify as Christians are “in name only” and have little or no involvement with Christianity. That’s why a person’s self-proclaimed Christian identity tells us nothing about their spirituality or engagement with their faith.

We are saved by grace alone through faith alone but then our Christian growth is up to us. Paul tells us: “Since you have heard about Jesus and have learned the truth that comes from Him, throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception. Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. Put on your new nature, created to be like God – truly righteous and holy.” Ephesians 4:21-24 NLT 

The New Testament described process of “sanctification” is to become less like us and more like Jesus. To be a “disciple” of Jesus means that we willingly put ourselves under a “spiritual discipline” that becomes the foundation of a rhythm of ritual that sustains and builds our faith. I recently read a quote by a poet, who said, “The task in life is not so much finding a path in the woods as it is finding a rhythm to walk in.” In music, “rhythm” is a strong, regular, repeated pattern of sound and in our spiritual practices, we need the rhythm of a regular and repeated pattern of ritual.

Your morning ritual may be brewing the coffee and sitting down with your Bible. In the evening it may be lighting a candle and praying printed or extemporaneous prayers. It may be reading a devotional. Your ritual may be filling your home with the sounds of Christian praise and worship CD’s as you sing along while cleaning your house. Perhaps the rhythm of your day continues as you engage in a time of sustained prayer during your afternoon walk or as you sit quietly in the backyard. Your ritual may be praying those short ten second “breath prayers” as you go about your day. 

These I mention are only some of the various pathways to a greater level of participation in the Kingdom of God, and what makes these practices edifying and building up are when you’ve established the rhythm of the rituals and they’ve become a regular and repeated part of your day-to-day lifestyle.

One day we’ll be standing before Jesus. The Son of God is not interested in what church we’ve gone to, our Sunday attendance record, or the length of our personal prayer times. Jesus is interested only in the condition of our heart but it is those faithful spiritual practices that change our heart. Will our Lord look at the Spirit-filled man or woman you’ve come to be, smile and say, “Well done, good and faithful servant”?

A 20 Second Prayer Life!

Dear Friends,

At the risk of offending my liberal progressive friends, I describe myself as a biological male (your gender nowadays is not how God created you but is based on how you “feel” about yourself) and I’m physically attracted to women. Always have been. Always will be. (Another dicey admission to make in these #MeToo days particularly if you already have one strike against you by being a white male). But that’s how God created us. Two biological genders attracted to each other and Voilà!; here we are today – 80 billion humans later. God’s plan obviously worked! But many decades ago, I was struggling, as so many Christian men do, with God’s gift of having a strong natural attraction toward women, but what the heck.. I’m not actually lusting; I’m only looking! Right? Then one day I came to a red light. 

I had stopped behind a white van and paid absolutely no attention to it because over to my right, an absolutely gorgeous woman in a very short skirt stepped off the sidewalk to cross the street. As my eyes followed her, she disappeared out of my sight when she walked in front of the white van. My vision started to sweep past that darn van in front of me so that I could see her as she continued to cross the street. My eyes froze. Centered high on the back of the van’s doors was a bumper sticker. White with a blue border. There was just one word in red letters. “JESUS.” At that very moment, I heard the still, small voice of the Lord, “Keep your eyes on Me.” I didn’t look at the woman. In fact I could barely breathe. 

Those words came at the very instant I saw the bumper sticker and didn’t come from my mind or my imagination. To those of us who are spiritually sensitive, God can whisper to our soul and we know that feeling or thought that we have is from Him. For the rest of us, who can be a little dense, God sometimes needs to give us a holy smack-down and do something so dramatic that He gets our attention and we know it’s Him. He most definitely got my attention. From that day to the present, when I find my eyes drawn toward an attractive woman, I look away and pray for them. For their family, their health, that they will come to know and love God, or if they already do, they will come to love Him even more and that they will experience His grace.

My prayer life changed at that red light. In my Evangelical Pentecostal church tradition, a “Prayer Warrior” who would pray fervently for extended periods of time every day – sometimes for many hours – was the coveted goal for those of us who admired these spiritual giants. And for me, especially as a pastor, I was embarrassed to admit that, when it came to sustained, fervent prayer, I was a spiritual midget. As little as ten minutes of prayer was even difficult. I’d pray for the needs of all those I knew and then simply ran out of things to say. 

After my “red light” experience, I had asked the Lord to show me how to keep my eyes on Him when attracted to a woman and was convicted in my spirit that I needed to pray for them. I soon began to pray for others I encountered during my day as well. I was also desiring to simply be with Him more on my day-to-day journey. 

We Protestant Christians are not taught and encouraged (like the Orthodox and Catholic) to live our life in God’s presence during our day. Even for highly-engaged Protestants, church service on Sunday, a short daily prayer for family and friends and we’re good. But more and more of us are tired of just being a “Sunday Christian” and hunger for living our days in the presence of God. We’re not sure how to do this since it’s not something normally taught in a Protestant church and some of us have even had pastors who scorned and discouraged any of the ancient devotional practices because they looked “too Catholic.”

The prayer practices of the ancient church drew His followers into the presence of God, and I found that as I would talk to God, worship Him and pray throughout my day, it was becoming easier and easier to keep my eyes on Him and walk in His presence. I pray the Orthodox Jesus Prayer (Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy upon me) and sing worship songs as I clean the horse corrals. I pray the Jesus Prayer working around the house. The sirens remind me to pray for the sick and injured who are in the ambulance driving past my house to the hospital. 

I wave a hello at Nacho my postal carrier and pray for him. I see my neighbor Heather across the street with her year old baby and pray for them. She’s a nurse and I pray for her health and safety. I pray for the Jimenez family next door who recently moved in. This morning I prayed for Mike, the normally upbeat checker at Smart & Final, because when I asked him how he was doing, he sounded down and depressed. My prayer list is in the “Google Keep” app that syncs to all my devices. If I know you personally, your name is in there along with pretty much everything you’ve ever asked me to pray about. Answered prayers have checkmarks – praise God for all the checkmarks! 

A Greek Prayer Rope – a “Komboskoini”– is in my pocket. Made of wool with fifty knots, the Orthodox use it while saying the Jesus Prayer much in the same way a Catholic uses a rosary. I don't use the prayer rope that way to “count” my prayers but keep it in my pocket because when my hand touches it, I’m reminded to pray. Before that, I carried a small smooth stone in my pocket that I’d found at Saint Andrew’s Abbey, that reminded me to pray and brought me into His presence when I touched it. Some people wear a special bracelet for the same reason. The cross I always wear is a constant reminder of His presence and His love for me. My phone plays the sound of a church bell at the ancient church prayer times of 6 am, Noon and 3 pm. I pray at the sound of the church bell. 

We were created to love God and live in His presence and the things we do during our day will draw us closer to Him, or keep us spiritually sluggish and stagnant, or pull us further away. Paul says to “pray without ceasing” and these short ten or twenty second prayers throughout my day keep me centered in Him – I’m keeping my eyes on Him.

Jesus keeps it simple for us pilgrims who are on this journey to a holy place. He gives us two commandments, “Love God and Love Others” Mark 12:30-31 Our prayers throughout our day to God and for others focus our worship on Him and fosters spiritual growth that brings about “theosis” – a process of transformation that helps us to be less like us and more like Jesus. 

In the Eastern Orthodox Church, “theosis” is union with God which starts with truly worshiping Him. Here’s why loving God was the Son’s first commandment: because without having a solid relationship with God and living in His presence, I’m spiritually impotent. If I have a feeble faith, I’d be out of God’s will for me, complacent with my sins, my prayers for you would have little effect or actually.. to be honest.. I probably wouldn’t be praying for you at all. 

But we would err by obeying only the first commandment to love God. We are not monastic hermits living in a mountain cave who direct their thoughts and prayers only on God and themselves. We also err with a militant focus on the second commandment to love others that’s encouraged in social justice churches which often produce strong activists but ambiguous Christians. 

Our faith is a well-balanced focus on 1) God and 2) Others. We must develop an ambidextrous prayer life, moving effortlessly from prayers that unite us with God, like the Jesus Prayer, to 20 second intercessory prayers for someone and back again. In this AMEN Corner you're reading about my personal prayer practices that I’ve gleaned from the ancient church and which may be unfamiliar to most Protestants. Look at what works for me -- this one imperfect pilgrim -- and if you think something might also work well for you, give it a try. As I study and learn, my prayer practices are ever evolving. Yours should too. Growth can only take place in change and I heard a cowboy pastor say one time, “if you ain’t changing you ain’t growing.” 

“..but grow in the grace and knowledge
of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. 
To Him be the glory, both now and forever. Amen”

2 Peter 3:18

☩   ☩   ☩

Find Your Way Through 2023!

Kalmiopsis Wilderness

Dear Friends,

When I was much younger, stronger and far more reckless than I am today, my yearly vacation from a stress-filled job as a law office administrator was to go backpacking in the Kalmiopsis Wilderness in Oregon. Kalmiopsis was the most rugged and remote wilderness area I could find on the West Coast. It had deep rushing rivers, steep rocky canyons, extreme elevation changes, mountain lions and it was known for its abundance of rattlesnakes. I would go in alone one for a week and never meet another backpacker. Backpacker Magazine had deemed the southern portion of Kalmiopsis too rugged and dangerous for backpackers. That made it the perfect place for me because I wanted to be alone. In the Kalmiopsis Wilderness, every day was a victory of survival. Where I pushed myself to the breaking point to discover my limitations and do some deep soul searching. And yes.. maybe it was foolish of me to take those risks, but as my grandmother used to say, “The good Lord looks after the foolhardy and the devil takes care of his own.”

Back at the office I would be asked, “Did you ever get lost?” Of course I did! When you are finding your way through a wilderness area using unmarked trails, animal trails and sometimes your own “shortcuts,” you will get lost. You frequently don't know where you are! There is disorientation and confusion but never fear. There’s no fear because an experienced backpacker expects to get lost and he or she is prepared.

Civilian GPS (global positioning system) devices had not been developed and my only navigational tools were a topographical map and a compass. But when your survival is at stake, you don't rely on what can be lost or broken. So you study the sun – always knowing its position in the sky at every time of the day. When you get lost, the position of the sun will help you to become reoriented and headed in the right direction. I carried a seventy pound pack, but my canteen held only enough water for one day. 

From the high places, you study the terrain to determine the likely places where a stream would be and you look for animal tracks, knowing that well-traveled animal trails often lead to water. You know that the North Star points north. You have faith that no matter how lost you find yourself at any moment, you will have the ability to reorient yourself. And I was without human companions, but I never traveled alone. Like the early Christian monks who found God in the desert, I too found God in the wilderness and walked every step in His Presence.

In life transitions we can also sometimes feel lost and disoriented. We don't know where we are at the moment and may not even know where we need to be. We may be confused and uncertain about which direction to go in. We may even feel a little frightened and fearful about our future. Both big and little upsets in life are all so.. well.. unexpected!

But in a journey through the wilderness or your journey through life, when you expect to be lost, you won't panic when you are. When you have prepared to be lost and have equipped yourself with tools for survival, you’re never lost for long. When you’re prepared, you have the confidence that you’ll never become so disoriented that you'll stumble off a “cliff” or wander in the “wilderness” forever. You fully trust that no matter how lost you get, you'll always find your way again.

In 2023, expect to be lost!  Expect there will be times when you will be disoriented and uncertain about your future. Expect a life transition. Expect times victoriously dancing in unrestrained joy! Expect times of tribulation, John 16:33 discontent and despair. Expect a serious situation you’ve not planned for. Expect the Enemy of this world to throw you a curve. Expect perhaps even a crisis of faith: Is God really here with me now? Life happens. Expect it. Prepare for it.

Prepare yourself with the right navigational tools. Your Bible is the “compass and map” that shows you where you are, where you need to be and how to get there. Know what the leading of the Holy Spirit feels like. Look for and follow in the tracks of godly men and women that lead to the Living Water. And study the Son. Know where He is at all times in your life. Know what His “voice” sounds like. No matter how lost you become, when you’ve studied the Son, He will always help you to become reoriented and headed in the right direction.

The wilderness of life is rugged. Expect to get lost. But if you’re a Christian believer you have a built-in “GPS.” That’s “God’s Positioning System” and His GPS will always help you find your way again. That’s why no matter what challenging circumstances you may find yourself in during 2023, you will have the ability, through the help of God, to recover and flourish again. Always expect victory! For He is with you when you're lost in the valley and He's there when you're dancing once again on the top of the mountain!  Amen?

Getting There From Here!

Dear Friends,

Please don’t feel bad if you’ve already broken the New Year’s Resolutions you made only a few days ago! A Gallup poll revealed that 71% of people who make resolutions keep them for less than two weeks. And only 8% will actually keep them for a full year. The same poll also listed the most common resolutions that people make. Number one was to lose weight and number two was to exercise more. No surprise there. But the third most popular resolution people make was to “be a better person” and the sixth most popular one was to “get closer to God.” Those two stood out for me because they go hand in hand. The way to be a better person is to get closer to God. That’s because the more of God we have in our life, the more like Christ we become and the changes in our thoughts, words and behaviors take place without effort on our part. The Holy Spirit is the One doing the “work” on us. 

When we held services at the assisted living home, we’d end every service singing “Day By Day.” That’s an 18th century Anglican prayer put to music for the musical “Godspell” and goes:

Day by Day.. Day by Day.. 

Oh dear Lord, Three things I pray.

To see Thee more clearly.

Love Thee more dearly.

Follow Thee more nearly.

Day by Day! 

That’s how we get closer to God; that’s the “resolution” that is guaranteed for you to keep, because that’s been God’s desire for you from the time that He hand-formed you in your mother’s womb. Mark 12:30; John 14:23; Psalm 139:13 And my prayer for all who made a resolution to get closer to God is that they will yield to the calling of the Holy Spirit who will enable and empower them to love God more and become more like Him in this new year than ever before!

On this journey toward knowing God, loving Him more than ever and following Him more closely, there may be things He wants us to leave behind. Things that may “sinful” and things that may not be sins but are just not helpful for us.  1 Corinthians 6:12 And that can change our whole idea of what a “New Years Resolution” should be. Resolutions are our commitment to change. We have a new year. New opportunities. New possibilities. A new season. There is a freshness of new beginnings. God wants to do new things in your life and so we say “yes and amen” and resolve to do better and then...nothing changes. 

We’re still stuck in the sameness and the problem is not God. The problem is that we’re holding onto the old so tightly that we don’t have room in our lives for anything new. Perhaps the secret to bringing about the changes we desire is not what we resolve to do but more about what we resolve to stop doing. It is so often our human tendency to cling to our past that prevents us from stepping out into our future, and yet it’s what we leave behind that will result in a changed life.

This is exactly what God was telling the Israelites when they were in captivity. “Do not remember the former things, Nor consider the things of old. Behold, I will do a new thing..!” Isaiah 43:18-19 The people of Israel were at their lowest point. Israel is focused on their past transgressions; they are possessed by those failures. God gave them the Temple and instead of worshiping God, the faithless Israelites worshiped idols. God gave them commandments and they lived as if they were optional suggestions. God gave them Himself and they rejected Him over and over again. And God in His goodness, says to them, “Do not remember the former things, Nor consider the things of old.  Forget about your mess-ups. Don't obsess about your past mistakes and poor decisions, I am giving you an opportunity to start over. I will do a new thing..” (my expanded translation)

We speak of our Christian faith as “walking with Jesus.” We don’t talk about “standing around with Jesus.” Standing means we're still. Stagnant. Not moving. Walking means a forward motion. Walking with Jesus means moving forward with Him on the journey we call “life.” But Jesus gave us a warning about following Him. Jesus and His disciples were walking down the road when someone said to Him, “Lord, I will follow You wherever You go.” And Jesus said “No one, having put his hand to the plow, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God.” Luke 9:62 Jesus was saying that to follow Him we need to let go of the things that anchor us to our past and instead we must focus fully on Him. We need to be looking ahead at the One we are following.

Life is a journey and every new year God gives us a fresh start – a new beginning. His promise to the Israelites and His Son’s warning to the disciple, applies to you and me because God is still the Creator of all things new and all things good. He is unchanging – the same yesterday, today and forever. If your resolution this year is to become a better person by being closer to God, “To see Thee more clearly. Love Thee more dearly. Follow Thee more nearly” here’s how that works. 

God is sovereign (all-powerful) and He can do anything He wants, but He has given us willpower and allows us to make choices. That means that you can’t do it without God and He won’t do it without you. Before He will do something new in your relationship with Him is there something(s) you must choose to give up? Something that comes between you and Him? Priorities? Habits? Lifestyles? People tell me they have no time to read the Bible or pray and I have to watch their discomfort when I ask them how many hours they watch TV or spend online. 

What are the things that distance you from God? Be willing to let go of those old things to make a little more room for Him in your life! Become closer to God in 2023 and watch Him do the new things and make the changes that you've been struggling to make in your life!

What Season Are You In?

Dear Friends,

Some people believe that Syracuse, New York is one of the most beautiful places on earth when the thousands of trees display the brilliant colors of Autumn. Aunt Helen certainly did. At age 92, she still went bowling every Wednesday and in the Fall, she raked up the red, yellow and orange leaves from her Syracuse front yard. I was reading that a New England mail order company will send you three genuine hand-selected autumn leaves for only $19.95 plus shipping and handling!  If Helen was still alive today, she would have laughed her head off at the thought of selling the leaves on her front lawn to someone living in a “condo” in California!

In Sylmar, I’m seeing a change of color in the deciduous trees and as I breathe in the morning air, there’s a freshness in the breeze that portends the passage of a season and prepares us for the next. Autumn is a time of beauty and peace for contemplatives, photographers, writers and artists. The brilliant tapestry of autumn colors feeds one’s soul and heart with such a dazzling display of God’s handiwork that we just need to go outside and play in it.

One of my favorite places to go this time of year is the picturesque town of Oak Glen nestled in what is called the “Little San Bernardino Mountains.”  Oak Glen is known for its abundant apple orchards and rolling hills covered with vivid autumn reds, oranges, and yellows. It’s as close as you can get to a spectacular New England autumn without getting on a plane.

Seasonal transitions of “nature” in God’s Creation remind us of seasons in our church and in our life. Autumn also signals the arrival of ADVENT – that season of anticipation as we prepare for the birth of the Christ child. ADVENT leads us to the CHRISTMAS celebration which includes Epiphany– the manifestation of the Savior Jesus to the Gentiles. Soon the chill of winter gives way to the warmth of spring and a season of spiritual growth. LENT is a time of reflection and recommitment to a renewed relationship with God. We approach Good Friday with our ineffable gratitude for the ultimate gift of God’s grace and salvation mixed along with a sense of sorrow for the suffering that Jesus endured. Easter– RESURRECTION SUNDAY– is truly a glorious day and the most important of all Christian Holy Days (“holidays”). Fifty days later comes PENTECOST, marking the day that God’s presence became actively working in believers through the indwelling of the Holy Spirit to enable us to become a witness of His glory and grace to the world. After PENTECOST we enter a season of what the church calls ORDINARY TIME. But the time quickly passes and before long, we sense a freshness in the air and soon the autumn colors are bringing us once again to the season of ADVENT. The journey through our church seasons reveals the mystery of God’s plan as it unfolds for us in the life of the church, and we are reminded that in the Kingdom of God, with each transition, there is something new again. 

In God’s Creation, there is a rhythmic cycle with the organic flow of our four seasons. Every three months, a transition to the next. Depressed by the gray, gloominess of winter? The warmth of spring is right around the corner. Tired of spring showers and eye-burning allergies? The long, hot days of summer are ahead. Worn down by the relentless heat and smog? The cooler glorious world of autumn awaits you. Bored and weary with autumn and those Santa Ana winds? Grab the winter coat, gather the firewood and prepare for those long, frosty winter nights. We are reminded that with each transition from one season to the next, there is something new again.

So it is with the seasons of life. You may be in an exciting springtime season of new birth and growth. You may be feeling as if you are caught in the dry, oppressive days of what seems to be an endless summer. This may be for you a contemplative, peaceful autumn time of thanksgiving. Or you may find yourself in the cold, dark, discouraging loneliness of a long winter season. I've got news for you. Get ready for it. A change is coming!

Seasons of life. Each with its own set of experiences and the passing of each season leaving behind memories of what was. For many of us, our photo albums are the pictorial autobiography of our life. We look back and remember the seasons of life that were filled with great joy and our happy memories bring gladness to our heart. 

But some seasons of life are filled with pain, sorrow and anger and those seasons can embed bitterness, uncertainties, fears and doubts into our soul. We will stay mired in our pain-filled past if we dwell on those memories and relive those circumstances of that season in our mind. And God says: “But forget all that-- it is nothing compared to what I am going to do. For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it?” Isaiah 43:18-19 NLT Praise God! For He reminds us that with each life transition, God will give us something new again!

Remember that no matter what season of life we’re in, there are three guarantees we can count on:1) This present season will come to an end. 2) God has already begun to do something new for you in the next season. And, 3) The one unchanging constant that we can trust in and count on is this: God is standing with us in this season and He is waiting for us in the next.  Amen?

Rejoice Always?

Dear Friends,

I was Cleo’s last pastor and every September I remember the day we celebrated her 105th birthday five years ago. Since then, she has left this mortal life to live out her timeless existence in Heaven with her Lord Jesus Christ. But if you had been with me on that day she turned 105, you would have been shocked at how vital, lively and full of life this wonderful woman of God was. For many years, we had been holding a Wednesday service at Cleo’s assisted living home and she had not missed a single service. She’d park her wheelchair in the front row directly in front of me and everyone knew that was Miss Cleo’s “reserved” space! Church was what she looked forward to all week long. The residents knew that Cleo was the person to go to if they needed to talk to someone, had a question about God or needed prayer. Cleo was the oldest person I’d ever known and was the happiest person I’d ever known. When people would ask her what the secret was to her long life or ask how she could be so filled with joy all the time, she always gave the same answer to either question. She would tell you the answer is that she was always grateful to God, for everything, all of the time. And she really was!

One of the most troubling scriptures is, “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 Troubling because it seems as if God is telling us to do the impossible. Rejoice always? Pray constantly? Give thanks in everything? Impossible we say! But God never asks us to do the impossible and Jesus reminded His followers that in the Kingdom of God: “Humanly speaking, it is impossible. But with God everything is possible.” Matthew 19:26 And for us pessimistic naysayers who pin the word “impossible” on God’s commandments to us like a badge of defeat, we would only have to look at the radiant smile on Cleo’s face to see that with God, it really is possible to rejoice always!

Much of our unhappiness comes from stress and anxiety that’s created by circumstances outside our control. We are angry, sad, fearful. Today’s level of political and cultural hatred of those who do not share our political beliefs is astounding. Surveys are showing that 70-90% of the people in major cities no longer feel safe living there. Putin is threatening to launch a nuclear warhead and this week we’re reading about newfound major earthquake faults in Southern California and a major hurricane is headed toward Florida. Life in these United States can be scary and stressful and yet God says to rejoice always? Really? 

Yes! Because in the middle of the worst and most fearsome circumstances, when we know Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior, all is well with our soul. But we still may have no internal peace if we live with one foot in the sacred and one foot in the secular. Of course we’ll be unhappy, fearful and stressed during our week if our only time in the presence of God is for an hour and a half in church on a Sunday morning. 

That’s why God says we are not to rejoice just on Sunday morning, we are to “Rejoice in the Lord always..” Philippians 4:4 And here’s how to do that: “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6-7 Do you want to “rejoice always”? Then we need to pray “without ceasing” and give our cares and worries to God.

Born the granddaughter of a freed slave, Cleo grew up in the poverty of the South, but as a young girl in church, she learned that despite life’s circumstances, in everything you can find something to be thankful for. We don’t give thanks for everything. We don’t thank God for that devastating diagnosis we just received from our doctor. We don’t give thanks for earthquakes, fires and floods, but the word of God tells us that “in everything give thanks.” The morning after hurricane Sandy devastated parts of New Jersey in 2012, a woman was interviewed by a news reporter. As she looked at her flooded house and ruined possessions she said, “We were blessed. It could have been worse.” 

According to the Harvard School of Medicine, being thankful is one of the simplest ways to feel better. According to the Harvard Medical newsletter:

“The word gratitude is derived from the Latin word gratia, which means gratefulness. Gratitude is a thankful appreciation for what an individual receives, whether tangible or intangible. With gratitude, people acknowledge the goodness in their lives. In positive psychology research, gratitude is strongly and consistently associated with greater happiness.”

Cleo showed us that when we are constantly grateful to God and are thankful in all things, we will find ourselves rejoicing always. Do you want to feel better than you do? Do you want to be happier and healthier? Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in all things give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.   Amen?

How To Not Mess Up A Relationship!

Dear Friends,

God created us to be in relationship with Him and to be in relationship with each other. God intersects our lives with the lives of others and has handpicked those other souls to be the ones  with whom we share our lives. He has chosen them to become a part of who we are and to walk with us for awhile on this journey called life. 

By birth and by happenstance, God gives us loved ones – family and friends – those who have been given to us and those to whom we have been given. And here's the way it seems to work. God creates our relationships with others and then, too often, we go and mess them up. Trust me in this. I’m an expert in messing up relationships.

If I close my eyes, I see a kaleidoscope of faces. The ghost relationships from my past. I whisper to my ghosts a plea for their forgiveness and can only hope they have done so. Not for my sake but for theirs. I wish I could tell them that at the time, I was clueless about God’s relationship rules.

From my first teenage crush on Kris Busch, the cute, red-haired girl at church, I've messed up more relationships than I’m comfortable thinking about. I've also had to helplessly watch far too many times as a friend or loved one messed up their relationship with me beyond repair. But no matter who gets the credit for muddling it up, every single one of my messed up relationships got messed up for the same reason. Someone wasn’t following the rules.

Here's the interesting thing that sometimes happens to people who have learned from their own messiness: God uses their experience to help others. He comforts (and guides) us in our troubles that we may comfort and help others. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 NLT So, at a previous church, many, many years ago, God transformed the guy (me), who was proficient at messing up relationships, into a counseling pastor and brought me into the lives of those who were trying to repair their own wounded or broken relationships. 

My pastoral job was to help them understand how they got there in the first place, show them how they might be able to restore their messed up relationship and have healthier relationships in the future. Of course, whether it was between two spouses, parent and child, friends, co-workers or even themselves and their boss, the dysfunctional relationships had become fragile and fragmented for the exact same reason. They weren't following the rules.

On Amazon there are over 150,000 books on marriage and dating relationships, but you need only one book and it's already in your home. You know the book I'm talking about. It has everything that you'll ever need to know in order to have successful and fulfilling relationships with others. But it's a big book and I'll simplify things for you. Take a look at the enclosed. (If you are the person who resists following “rules” because they interfere with your personal freedom, then this AMEN Corner isn’t for you.) But if you do want the blessings from living out your relationship God’s way, then these One-Anothers will help you to do that.

Every relationship...Without exception...Every relationship gets messed up when people don't follow the rules of the “One-Another.” If both in a marriage made a three-way covenant with each other and with God to follow the biblical One-Anothers, and both sincerely worked at doing that, they would divorce-proof that relationship and it would truly be a marriage made in heaven. That’s guaranteed!

But in a marriage, we sometimes find ourselves “unequally yoked” 2 Corinthians 6:14 due to circumstances or decisions when we married or because we and our spouse have found ourselves on two different spiritual life-paths. If a spouse is unwilling to commit to following the One-Anothers with you, many times we can use the list as a diagnostic tool to see if there’s something we can do differently in order to improve the relationship. God tells us to imitate Him and walk in love Ephesians 5:1-2 because our Christ-like behavior will often inspire others to be like us.

The biblical One-Anothers are directed to all Christians and show us how to be Christ-like in all of our relationships with each other, but I’ve found this list to be especially helpful for a married couple working to restore or rejuvenate their relationship. And, it takes both husband and wife who are told by Paul to “..submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” (meaning a mutual submission). Ephesians 5:21-33 NLT (see note) Two people are to accept one another, love one another, encourage each other and pray for each other and there are twenty-five One-Anothers in our Bible! Relationships can be incredibly easy and fulfilling and free of contention and strife. All you have to do is to follow God's rules. Amen?

THE “ONE-ANOTHERS” 

in Scripture hold a wealth of guidance for our relationships with loved ones, friends and all those who God has brought into our lives – those who have been given to us and to whom we have been given. If we practiced these “one–anothers,” we’d have far fewer problems in our relationships.

“Be at peace with each other.” Mark 9:50 

“Love one another.” John 13:34

“Be devoted to one another.” Romans 12:10

“Honor one another above yourselves.” Romans 12:10

“Stop passing judgement on one another.” Romans 14:13

“Accept one another.” Romans 15:7

Instruct one another.” Romans 15:14

“Greet one another.” Romans 16:16

“Serve one another in love.” Galatians 5:13

“Carry each other’s burdens.” Galatians 6:2

“Be patient, bearing with one another in love.” Ephesians 4:2

“Be kind and compassionate to one another.” Ephesians 4:32

“Forgive each other.” Ephesians 4:32

“Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs.” Ephesians 5:19

“Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” Ephesians 5:21

“In humility consider others better than yourselves.” Philippians 2:3

“Teach and admonish one another with all wisdom.” Colossians 3:16

“Encourage each other.” 1 Thessalonians 4:18

“Build each other up.” 1 Thessalonians 5:11

“Spur one another on toward love and good deeds.” Hebrews 10:24

“Do not slander one another.” James 4:11

“Don’t grumble against one another.” James 5:9

“Confess your sins to each other.” James 5:16

“Pray for each other.” James 5:16

“Clothe yourselves with humility toward one another.” 1 Peter 5:5

 Note: The Biblical teaching of submission in marriage has been sadly misunderstood and misused and, in some marriages, has resulted in un-Christ-like behavior and abuse. I strongly recommend reading this entire passage of scripture in the New Living Translation for a clear understanding of what a Godly marriage looks like.

And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything. For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God's word. He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. And we are members of his body. As the Scriptures say, "A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one." This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. Ephesians 5:21-33 NLT

Do You Need a Rescue List?

Dear Friends,

There’s a story of an old country parson who was always filled with the joy of the Lord and unrelentingly thankful even during the worst of circumstances. That Saturday an unexpectedly huge snow storm swept over their town and they awoke Sunday morning to downed trees, no electrical power and collapsed roofs. As a few hardy parishioners gathered in the church for Sunday services they grumbled out loud that there was certainly nothing for the good reverend to be thankful about that morning. “MERCIFUL FATHER!” bellowed the pastor, “WE COME INTO THY PRESENCE AND THANK THEE THAT NOT ALL DAYS ARE LIKE THIS ONE..!!”

Thanksgiving day is three months away, but as Christians, we have so much to be thankful for, one day is not enough for us. We have a season of Lent to prepare us for Easter Sunday and a season of Advent to prepare us for Christmas Day. Perhaps we need a “season of thanksgiving” and maybe the season should start today and never come to an end. Because as Christian believers, everyday should be a day of thanksgiving!

G.K. Chesterton said, “When it comes to life, the critical thing is whether you take things for granted or take them with gratitude.” And that's why the Apostle Paul said, “..in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.”  1 Thessalonians 5:18 

As the country parson found, there is always something we can give thanks for even in the worst of storms. But how do we remain thankful for all things in the middle of our personal life-storms? We were talking one time with a good friend about how easy it is to pray, keep encouraged and have hope for our future when life is going well and how difficult that all is when we are down and discouraged. When our circumstances have plunged us into the pit of despair, it can seem like there’s nothing we can be thankful for now or ever again. We may find ourselves desperately searching for something good to hang on to, but positive thoughts are elusive and gratitude is beyond our grasp. And, that’s why we need a rescue list.

If my computer crashes, I have a “rescue disk” that I can use to reboot my computer and bring it back to life. If my day crashes, my “rescue list” will bring it back to life. I read those things which make me happy and a positive perspective will be restored; my thankfulness will be re-booted. I will be reminded of how good life really is and how much hope I have as a Christian believer. I am reminded that no matter what circumstances I find myself in at the moment, as the hymn goes: “All is well with my soul.” 

I’m sharing my list with you in the hope you will be inspired to make your own rescue list that will lift you out of the storms of life, fill your heart with gratitude to a gracious God and restore peace to your soul.

This list is very personal but I wanted you to see what I’m talking about. For the past six years it’s lived at the very front of my Bible so that I always know where it is and can quickly find it. These are just some of the things for which I am most thankful. Some may sound spiritual to you and some you may think are just plain silly, but they all bring a smile to my face when I read these.

I would encourage you to make your own “rescue list.” Make it personal and don’t worry if it’s serious or silly. Write down those things that you are most thankful for right now. What brings a smile to your face? What brings joy to your heart? Write those down; tuck the list in your Bible until you need it. The friend I mentioned has a sign in her kitchen that says, “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.” When your life turns sour, reflecting with gratitude upon the things in your list that bring joy to your life will be the sweetener for your “lemonade.”

Are You A Hypocrite?

Dear Friends,

I had cooked up a large 12 quart pot of Broccoli and Cauliflower Soup for a group of church folks one night. (Not our church, but the church of a pastor friend of mine) Sensitive to the fact that some people do have food allergies, I made a sign that carefully listed all the ingredients. Organic chicken broth, butter, flour added as a thickener, seasonings and five different vegetables. A woman read the sign, stared fiercely in my direction and rushed on over. She looked up at me and declared in a cigarette-thickened voice, “I'm lactose intolerant and can't have any gluten, sulfites, msg, nitrates, nuts or potassium. Can I eat this?” I repeated the list of ingredients that she had just read off the sign and she gave me an accusatory look as if she had just caught me in a murder plot most foul. She glared at me and said, “This soup will make me deathly ill.” Later on, I noticed she was enjoying my “toxic” soup so much that she had gone back for thirds...

We were inviting Bill and Sally (not real names) over for dinner and she informed me that she was strictly vegan. She went on to tell me that she never eats anything that “has a face” and told me that all animals have souls just like people do. I didn't have time to get into that theological discussion but did want to clarify the menu I was planning. “Okay, so you never eat anything but vegetables?” I asked. “Well, I love Sushi,” she replied. She saw the grin slowly spread over my face and quickly explained, “Well that's only a fish but animals should never be killed.” I looked at her standing there in her red leather Nocona boots with her leather Coach purse and sequined leather Brighton belt, and wondered if she had given any thought to those “faceless” cows who gave their lives for her outfit...

When our walk doesn’t match our talk– when we claim to have moral standards, ideologies or beliefs and our behavior doesn’t conform to those standards, ideologies and beliefs, we are a hypocrite. The word “Hypocrite” comes from a Greek word meaning to “pretend” and in the Gospels, few sins are denounced as strongly as hypocrisy.

Non-believers ask, “How can I trust Christianity when so many Christians are hypocrites?” Yep.. I know what they're talking about because honestly, a lot of the time Christians are embarrassing to me. They give Jesus a bad name. I don't blame people who look at Christians and decide to not follow Jesus. Brennan Manning in “The Ragamuffin Gospel” put it like this: “The greatest single cause of atheism in the world today is Christians who acknowledge Jesus with their lips, then walk out the door and deny him by their lifestyle. That is what an unbelieving world simply finds unbelievable.”

Like I said, Christians are embarrassing to me and I have no tolerance for their hypocritical behavior. Then I catch myself standing in front of the mirror and looking at the guy who has been negative and critical. The guy who can be angry, impatient and rude. The dude who’s sometimes inconsiderate and unkind. I see this cranky old curmudgeon who has not always practiced what he preached. And I want to point my finger at the image in the mirror and yell accusingly at him, “And you call yourself a Christian!” So the hypocritical guy in the mirror is an embarrassment to me also. And then God reminds me that the guy in the mirror is just another sinner saved by grace.

So what do we tell the skeptics? The late wife of Billy Graham, told a story about a young woman from India who had said, “We of India would like to believe in Christ but we have never seen a Christian who was like Christ.” Ruth Graham told the young lady, “I'm not offering you Christians. I'm offering you Christ.” That needs to be our answer to those put off by the hypocrisy of Christians. We are not asking skeptical family and friends to follow Christians and do what they do. We are asking them to follow Jesus and to do what He would do.

Here's the one important thing for a skeptic to understand about why there are so many hypocrites in church. It's because all humans are hypocrites. There are times for all of us when our behavior does not match up with our values and beliefs. A PEW Survey even found that 18% of all Atheists have prayed to “God” when they've gotten into a real jam! 6% of Atheists pray daily. 11% weekly and 17% say they pray at least monthly. And 5% of those who are Atheists have said that “God,” a “Higher Power” or “Supreme Being” answered their prayers. Think about that for a moment...

The antidote for hypocrisy is authenticity, and it’s only when we lead repentant lives that we can become authentic Christians. Authentic followers of Jesus will describe themselves as “works in progress” so it should be no surprise to anyone that at times we fail to live up to what we know is the right thing to do. The evidence of our Christian life is not when they see our perfect saintly behavior, but when they see us constantly striving to follow Jesus and live like Him despite our occasional failures to do so. That’s authentic Christianity.  Amen?

Are You REALLY A Christian?

Dear Friends,

Someone asked me one time, 

“What determines if we are really a Christian?” 

What a great question that was! Let’s see...

Bob was raised by parents who took him to a Presbyterian church every so often. He can remember that at Christmas, his family sang carols and had a manger with the baby Jesus. As an adult, the only time he was in a church was ten years ago when his friend got married. He remembers a Sunday School story about Jonah being eaten by a whale. He has never read a Bible but does believe that Jesus existed only as a man. Bob says that he’s a Christian. Is he?

Gloria was raised in a loving Catholic home and her faith is very important to her. She’s survived the death of her husband and her own struggle with cancer and attributes her ability to do so to the grace and glory of God. She faithfully attends mass every morning and she prays three times a day using her rosary. She worships her Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, and tries to love others as she believes that Jesus would. Is she a Christian?

Jim was also raised in church and he can’t remember a time in his life when he was not in a Sunday school or church service at least once a week. He accepted Jesus as Lord and Savior as a child and his father was a pastor. Today, he’s married with two children – a nine year old girl and a 12 year old boy. He’s a Sunday school teacher and an elder in his church. He believes in the inerrant Word of God and faithfully tithes 10% of his income. He says he is a Christian. Is he? Before you answer that, there’s something else I need to tell you about Jim. For two years, he has been sexually abusing his daughter. Is he a Christian? 

Marcy regularly attends her mainline church that teaches what is known as “liberal theology.” She prays to “Mother God,” believes in the human existence of Jesus and acknowledges Him, not as God, but as a God “symbol” that shows her the right way to live her life and how she should love others. She agrees with her church teachings that the biblical stories must be filtered through modern thought and reason and that the miracles in the New Testament were not real but are important stories that encourage and inspire us. She loves how her church is relevant for her by using today’s culture to translate the scriptures into a doctrine that comports with her liberal worldview and has given her a faith that she can believe in. Marcy sincerely believes that she is a Christian. Is she?

Julie is a single mom who wasn’t raised in church, but in college she accepted Jesus as her Lord and Savior at a Campus Crusade event. As a young single woman, her church was very important to her, until she got pregnant and decided to keep the baby. She was so hurt by the church’s response to her pregnancy that she hasn’t been back since. She prays every night for herself and her little daughter. She studies her Bible and uses God’s Word to guide her life. Because of her treatment as an unwed mother, she has become very guarded and cautious around other Christians. She loves Jesus but is afraid to become involved in another church. Is Julie a Christian?

Helen is an older, “spirit-filled” woman and there is not a day that goes by without her spending time with God and praying in her spiritual language. She is the leader of an intercessory prayer ministry at her church, but she’s avoided telling her pastor that at home she prays to and converses with the angels who she believes are her spirit guides. She uses crystals that she believes will heal her arthritis and has a Navajo dream-catcher with a “medicine bag” over her bed to protect her as she sleeps. Helen knows that her shamanistic New Age beliefs are non-biblical but has intermingled those with her Christian beliefs and firmly believes that she’s still a Christian. Is she?

Is it our beliefs that determine if we’re really a Christian? These six all believe in the existence of Jesus, but is that enough? Our Bible tells us, “You believe that there is one God. You do well. Even the demons believe – and tremble!” James 2:19 The demons believe and even confess that Jesus is Lord. Luke 4:40-41 Satan and his demons are “believers” but they are definitely not Christians!

Okay. If it’s not what we believe, is it what we do? Is it our good works? Is it our social activism? Is it our participation in our church's homeless ministry? According to Jesus, we can go to church and act exceedingly religious and do phenomenal works and yet.. “Not everyone who calls out to me, ‘Lord! Lord!’ will enter the Kingdom of Heaven. Only those who actually do the will of My Father in heaven will enter.. Many will say.. we prophesied in Your name and cast out demons in Your name and performed many miracles in Your name. But I will reply, 'I never knew you. Get away from Me, you who break God's laws.” Matthew 7:21-23 NLT

In the ancient church established by the Apostles, the derisive term used to describe the early disciples was “Christian” – meaning a Christ follower. Acts 11:26 That’s a good definition to use. If being a Christian means “one who actually follows Jesus” then it’s more than just a biblical belief in His existence, church attendance or religious behavior. 

Here’s how it works: By the grace of God, we enter into a relationship with Him through belief in His Son Jesus – not just belief that He is the Son of God but that He is God the Son. Then out of that relationship flows a desire to know and follow Jesus. The biblical concept is “sanctification,” meaning the process of becoming less like us and more like Jesus. By the power of the Holy Spirit, it’s living out the authentic, historic Gospel in our own life. To follow Jesus means submitting our life to Him and, in all ways possible, doing what He would do. Following Jesus is not just walking on the same path; it’s journeying along closely in the footsteps of the One who is leading. 

Look again at Bob, Gloria, Jim, Marcy, Julie and Helen. Each one would tell you that they are definitely a Christian. Do they believe in historical, biblical, orthodox Christianity or a contemporary version of it that's non-Christian and unbiblical? Are they following Jesus and trying to do what He would do? If some are not, what would they need to do differently? (Note: Based solely on the descriptions of the six, only two would be authentic, believing Christians)

But of course our six self-described Christians are the unimportant ones at this point. Do you believe in historical, biblical, orthodox Christianity? (If not, or if you're not sure, please email me and let's chat about it) And then if your beliefs are biblically solid.. when Jesus looks back over His shoulder, does He see you closely following Him? If not, what do you need to do differently?

Spiritual Mothers and Fathers

Dear Friends,

Many years ago, when we had first started the Wednesday ministry at the assisted living home, a woman came up to me and addressed me as “Father.” As an Evangelical Protestant pastor, I was uncomfortable with that title and asked her to call me “Pastor John.” She looked at me, hesitated a moment and said, “Okay Father.” I soon gave up trying to correct those who attended the church services and all of the residents and staff called me “Father” or “Padre.” (Padre is from the Latin word “pater” and literally means “father priest.”) Most of the residents were decades older than me and their own fathers had passed on a long time ago. But as they were journeying through this last season of life, they were reaching out to a spiritual father to hold their hand and help them through it. It was humbling and more than a little disconcerting when I realized that God had given me to them to fill that role. It seems like no matter where we are in our life, we need a father.

My birthday was last week and while I’m normally too engaged with the present to concern myself with the past, my birthdays always seem to bring me to a place of nostalgic remembrances of my life to date. Faces, names and episodes that had been buried in my memory and long forgotten about are vividly recalled. Then last Sunday was Father’s Day and, because I never fathered a child, I’ve been uncomfortable when people wished me a “happy father’s day.” As when people at church called me “Father,” it’s always felt like an undeserved title. Was I really a father? Uhh..no..not really. 

But then during a birthday week a few years ago, God showed me something through the personal “documentary” of my life that had been the focus of my thoughts. He was showing me that, from when I was a young man, He had called me to be in the role of “spiritual father” to many of those He had brought into my life.  When I became a pastor, my mother had told me that she was not surprised because I’d spent so much of my life helping others by being their listener, counselor and mentor long before I was ordained. 

I didn’t have to be ordained to be a spiritual mentor. Neither do you. I’ve known men who had been the spiritual father to many and known women who were the spiritual mother to many. Some were also biological parents to children and some were not. But they were the “father” that their friends sought out for help when life got tough. They were the “mother” that a co-worker turned to for advice. They were the one who offered love, support, empathy, encouragement and sometimes loving correction. In this day when we are told that we must be strong and self-sufficient in all things and at all times, we will still sometimes need that spiritual father or spiritual mother to help and guide us through the circumstances of our lives Proverbs 19:20 and help us to build our faith and grow in the Lord.

I read about a Baptist pastor who had a friend that was an Episcopal priest. The Baptist envied his friend because those in his Episcopal church called him “Father” and saw him as their spiritual father. In the Baptist pastor’s church they called him by his first name and saw him as a casual friend. The Baptist pastor was struggling because he saw the need of many in his church for a “father” figure, but in most Protestant congregations, the pastor is just the one who has been hired to manage the church, lead the service and preach a sermon. The Baptist pastor was wistfully longing for all male clergy to once again be called “Father” and to be the spiritual parent that the church so desperately needs today. For most of us, the word “father” brings a feeling of love, trust and security, but for some, that same word may elicit feelings of shame or fear. Pastors hear father stories of neglect, indifference, abuse and abandonment that some psychologists call the “father wound.” 

Psychology Today says “Fatherhood turns out to be a complex and unique phenomenon with huge consequences for the emotional and intellectual growth of children.” When we grow up with a father who abandoned or abused us, we will unconsciously seek a Godly father to fill that void in our life and heal that “father wound.” People come to church to seek God and to find healing and wholeness for their lives. In too many churches we attempt to accomplish that by using uninspiring lectures (sermons) that simply tell people how they should live their life. Sometimes that works, but contrast that with the ancient church where, through the grace of God, seekers found spiritual fathers and spiritual mothers who gave them wisdom, advice, empathy and encouragement and who took them by the hand to lead them to their Heavenly Father.

If you feel called by God to be a spiritual parent to another, a caveat here: If we have an unresolved father or mother wound, we cannot be a spiritual parent to others until we have been healed by God and made whole again. In our current relationships, we tend to replicate our childhood family dynamic that we experienced in our family of origin. Proverbs 22:6 NIV For example, if our father was kind, loving, compassionate, we tend to treat others as he did. If we were abandoned by our father, we tend to have difficulties connecting and committing to another person. If a parent was abusive, we have a tendency to replicate that characteristic as well. Before we can be a spiritual parent, any soul wounds of our own must be fully understood by us and be healed by God in order to prevent us from passing on the hurts we suffered as a child to those who we mentor. 

Are you called to be a spiritual father or a spiritual mother? The need is great. Your church is filled with those who need a spiritual parent. They need the love of Jesus radiating through you. May God guide you and give you wisdom.