Finding Perfect Love

Dear Friends,

Whenever I think of the most romantic day of the year –Valentine’s Day– I often think of Wanda. No. Not like that. But many decades ago, I dated a woman named Lynn who came into my life along with two preteen daughters, a bad-tempered cat and Lynn’s high-maintenance, best friend, Wanda. 

Wanda could have been her own reality show. Her life was filled with drama, pathos and all-too-frequent crises. She had found the man of her dreams at the firm where she worked as a legal secretary. Todd was a very handsome, wealthy attorney who drove a Ferrari and took Wanda to the best Beverly Hills restaurants. And now for months, all she could talk about was Valentine’s Day. That was their one year dating anniversary and Wanda just knew deep within her heart that Todd was going to propose that Valentine night. 

She begin to obsessively read bridal magazines and sent away for travel brochures to plan their honeymoon. Every time they passed a jewelry store, she dropped coy hints by pointing out the rings she liked best. Two weeks before the big day, she and Lynn went shopping to buy Wanda a new dress for her special night with Todd. On Valentine’s Day, Wanda called in sick to work so that she could get her hair done. She was so nervous she hadn’t eaten or slept well for days. From when she was a little girl, she had fantasied about marrying a handsome, powerful, wealthy man and living happily ever-after. That dream was about to come true! 

Todd took her to an exquisite, romantic restaurant. They came back to her place. Todd shyly reached behind the front seat to retrieve a package. Once inside, Wanda begin to tremble with anticipation. At first she was a little confused because it was an awfully large box for an engagement ring but it was wrapped in red paper with embossed gold hearts. Her heart pounding, the words “Yes of course I’ll marry you!!” were ready to burst from her lips! She eagerly tore off the paper... and burst into tears. 

Todd had given her a Waterpik ® (recommended for the removal of bacteria deep between teeth and below the gumline for improved oral hygiene).

That funny, sad, true story illustrates the problem with romantic love – it always involves two imperfect people who excite each other one moment and exasperate each other the next. We’ve loved and been loved. We’ve watched our love soar to romantic heights and crash back down after colliding with the realities of life. We flawed humans have a great capacity for the humiliation, hurt, insensitivity, anger and betrayal that we have done unto others, as they have done unto us.

While our natural human love for each other is blemished and imperfect, God’s love is righteous, holy and perfect. That’s why Jesus told us that we are to love others as He loves us. Jesus said, “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you... You have been taught by God to love one another... And now abide faith, hope, love, these three but the greatest of these is love... Be affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another... Be an example in word, conduct, love, spirit, truth, in purity... My little children, let us not (just) love in our words, but in our deeds and in truth... Above all things have fervent love for one another, for love will cover a multitude of sins.” 

John 15:12   1 Thess 4:9   1 Cor 13:13; 

Rom 12:10;   1 Tim 4:12;   1John 3:18;   1 Pet 4:8.

God and His perfect love are with you and in you this Valentine’s Day and every day. Allow yourself to be filled with His love and then let God’s love flow through you to those that He has brought into your life – those who have been given to you and to whom you have been given. “Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God..” 1 John 4:7 Begin with those who are the most difficult to love and forgive them their human imperfections as you pray they will forgive yours. And, then on Valentine’s Day and every day, just love ‘em like Jesus.  Amen?

Saint Valentine's Day

Dear Friends,

Several decades ago when I was engaged to be married, my wife-to-be didn't want an engagement ring. That was good news because I really needed to buy four new off-road tires for my Ford F-250 pickup. But being the thoughtful guy that I am, I did want to get her a nice engagement gift. So I went to Smart & Final and bought her an awesome industrial-quality mop bucket and a commercial mop. Yes. I know what you're thinking, but you don't understand. This was a very expensive top-of-the-line, 26 quart Rubbermaid mop bucket in safety yellow with four heavy-duty castors and a high-efficiency, commercial-quality wringer system! And being generous to a fault, I even bought her an extra cotton mop-head. Once married, we’d be moving into a large house with her two kids, three dogs, a lot of linoleum flooring and I wanted her to have a fast and efficient system for cleaning the floors. Her mother was appalled at my thoughtfulness and from that day forward she was dead-set against her daughter marrying me. I’ll never forget the look on my mother-in-law’s face as she  glared at me throughout the entire wedding ceremony.

And that brings me to Saint Valentine’s Day. While the romance gene may be recessed in my DNA, I’ve learned my lesson and so I no longer buy Valentine's Day gifts for loved ones from Smart & Final or Harbor Freight Tools. As we all know, Valentine’s Day is the day we give cards, gifts, candy and flowers to our special sweethearts, but what is the origin of this day of love and affection?

It was originally a church feast to honor a second century church bishop, Saint Valentine who had married couples when Roman law prohibited it. Arrested and in jail, Valentine exchanged love notes with a young woman he was courting (that was before church rules banned clergy from being married) and he signed those notes, “from your Valentine.” He was martyred for helping others. 

Victorian England added Cupid to Valentine’s Day cards because Cupid is the pagan god of erotic love and lustful desire. In mythology, Cupid is the son of the love goddess Venus and he holds a bow and arrows which contain the deity’s power. When hit by Cupid’s arrow, the person is filled with uncontrollable lustful desire. 

Maybe I’m a cranky old Christian curmudgeon but isn’t that Cupid thing just a little too creepy? A naked, androgynous pudgy pagan god with the body of a baby and a genderless face who shoots arrows that fill people with lustful out-of-control desires? I’m wondering if maybe it’s time that we redeem this day of “love” and put the “saint” back into “valentines day.”

The “Two Great Commandments” from Jesus have everything to do with love. He said to Love God and Love Others. (Matt 22:37-40) We love God because He first loved us (1 John 4:19) and we love others because once filled with the love of Christ, that love just naturally spills out and onto those who God brings into our lives. Jesus said that our love for one another should be the same as His love for us. And others will know that we are Christians by that Christ-like love that we have for others. (John 13:34-35)

What would a Christian Saint Valentine’s Day look like? Pastor and Christian author John Piper wrote, “Love is the overflow of joy in God that gladly meets the needs of others.” The Apostle John writes, “..let us not love in word or in tongue but in deed and in truth.” (1 John 3:18) In other words, stop just talking about love and do loving deeds. “Love” is a noun that in Christ, becomes an action verb.

Loving others may mean that we first help to meet a person’s practical needs. Jesus didn’t just jump up on a tree stump in Capernaum to preach. He first met their physical needs. He fed them, healed them and cast out their demons. He listened to them and heard them. Then they followed Him. We meet a struggling single mom with young kids. She’s succumbing to her addictions and fighting for survival and we tell her that Jesus is the answer. But she can’t hear that because in her world her problem is not spiritual but practical. She needs food for her children. It’s when we do what Jesus would do.. When we love her like Jesus does.. When we help meet her practical needs.. Then perhaps her ears will be opened and we can tell her about Jesus. In the Kingdom of God, maybe every day should be a Saint Valentine’s Day...  Amen?

Love 'em like Jesus

Dear Friends,

Whenever I think of the most romantic day of the year –Valentine’s Day– I often think of Wanda. No. Not like that. But many decades ago, I dated a woman named Lynn who came into my life along with two pre-teen daughters, a bad-tempered cat and Lynn’s high-maintenance, best friend, Wanda. 

Wanda could have been her own reality show. Her life was filled with drama, pathos and all-too-frequent crises. She had found the man of her dreams at the firm where she worked as a legal secretary. Todd was a very handsome, wealthy attorney who drove a Ferrari and took Wanda to the best Beverly Hills restaurants. And now for months, all she could talk about was Valentine’s Day. That was their one year dating anniversary and Wanda just knew deep within her heart that Todd was going to propose that Valentine night. 

She begin to obsessively read bridal magazines and sent away for travel brochures to plan their honeymoon. Every time they passed a jewelry store, she dropped coy hints by pointing out the rings she liked best. Two weeks before the big day, she and Lynn went shopping to buy Wanda a new dress for her special night with Todd. On Valentine’s Day, Wanda called in sick so that she could get her hair done. She was so nervous she hadn’t eaten or slept well for days. From when she was a little girl, she had fantasied about marrying a handsome, powerful, wealthy man and living happily ever-after. That dream was about to come true! 

Todd took her to an exquisite, romantic restaurant. They came back to her place. Todd helped her out of the car and shyly reached behind the front seat to retrieve a package. Once inside, Wanda begin to tremble with anticipation. At first she was a little confused because it was an awfully large box for an engagement ring but it was wrapped in red paper with embossed gold hearts. Her heart pounding, the words “Yes of course I’ll marry you!” ready to burst from her lips, she eagerly tore off the paper... and burst into tears.

Todd had given her a WATERPIK ® (recommended for the removal of bacteria deep between teeth and below the gumline for improved oral hygiene).

That funny, sad, true story illustrates the problem with romantic love – it always involves two imperfect people who excite each other one moment and exasperate each other the next. We’ve loved and been loved. We’ve watched our love soar to romantic heights and crash back down after colliding with the realities of life. We flawed humans have a great capacity for the humiliation, hurt, insensitivity, anger and betrayal that we have done unto others, as they have done unto us.

While our natural human love for each other is blemished and imperfect, God’s love is righteous, holy and perfect. That’s why Jesus told us that we are to love others as He loves us. Jesus said, “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.”➊

The apostles tell us, “You have been taught by God to love one another.”➋ “And now abide faith, hope, love, these three but the greatest of these is love.”➌ “Be affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another.”➍ “Be an example in word, conduct, love, spirit, truth, in purity.”➎ “My little children, let us not (just) love in our words, but in our deeds and in truth.”➏ “Above all things have fervent love for one another, for love will cover a multitude of sins.”➐

God and His love are with you and in you this Valentine’s Day and every day. Let God's love flow through you to those that He has brought into your life – those who have been given to you and to whom you have been given. “Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God..” ➑ Forgive others their human imperfections as you pray that they will forgive yours. And, on Valentine’s Day and every day, just love ‘em like Jesus.  Amen?

  

Scriptures:

➀ John 15:12   ➁ 1 Thess 4:9   ➂ 1 Cor 13:13   ➃ Rom 12:10   
➄ 1 Tim 4:12   ➅ 1 John 3:18   ➆ 1 Pet 4:8       ➇ 1 John 4:7

Too Many Sinners

Dear Friend,

I want you to know that this week’s AMEN Corner is very different from the ones that you may have read before. I’ve seen something in our church that I want to talk with you about and I need to keep this just between you and me. I’ve been feeling like I needed to talk with someone about this and you are the only one I know that I can trust to keep this confidential. Okay, I know what you’re thinking! But I wrote two AMEN Corners this week. Everyone else got some sappy sentimental thing I wrote about loving each other on Valentine’s Day (that’s the AMEN corner with the cute heart graphic). You are the only one getting this special AMEN Corner because it’s all those other people in our church that I wanted to talk with you about.

What I’ve been noticing lately is that our little church is filled with sinners. A few months back, a visitor brought the youngest sinner we’ve had. I know it looked innocent enough in its mother’s arms. They are all cute and cuddly at that age but they are the most selfish and self-centered people in our congregation. That little sinner woke up and cried out for attention without any concern for the rest of us who were engaging in an important religious activity. For awhile we had some sinners who were a few years older. Do you remember the children who had the impudence to be running around the fellowship hall, having fun and laughing while us adults were trying to enjoy our lunch?

I’ve noticed some sinners come into our church looking penitent and reflective on Sunday morning. Who knows what they’ve been doing during the past week. What movies or television shows they watched. What they said that hurt a loved one. What their thoughts were that they would be ashamed to admit to anyone else. They know they have sinned in thought, word and deed – and that was just in the car on the way to church!

You’re pretty observant like me so you probably noticed like I do that some of the sinners who attend our church come in happy and lighthearted without a care in the world as if sin was the furthest thing from their minds. They look very respectable and proper – even a bit saintly. Yeah. Sure! They don’t fool you or me for a moment! Some of the sinners at NHFC come in early so that they can get the good pews in the back and some come in late and have to sit up front. Some are older and some are younger. Some women and some men. Some who have money and some who scrape by on pennies. Short, tall, heavy and thin. What unites them is that they are all sinners.

And the most amazing thing of all – and I know you’re going to agree with me about this – is that the guy in our church that they call “pastor”?  He’s really the “chief sinner” of them all! That’s what the Apostle Paul called himself, but let me tell you that Paul was an angel compared with our pastor!

But I guess one thing I’m glad about is that our church is not like some others I’ve attended. I went to one church where everyone had to be a saint. The pastor was the chief saint and he expected us to be like him. I remember talking to a man who had to leave the church because he smoked. Then there was the guy who was asked to leave after he told the pastor he was gay. There was the family who was kicked out after their unmarried daughter became pregnant. Sinners were not allowed in that church and since I was in ministry leadership I had to pretend to be a saint like everyone else did.

If the truth be told, I really fit best in a church with other sinners who are seeking God’s forgiveness. No matter what I’ve done or have failed to do, when the prayer of confession is said before receiving Communion, and I can say “amen,” I feel the burden lift and I know that God has forgiven me. I know that Jesus came into the world to save sinners like me. (1 Tim 1:15) I know that Jesus called disciples like Peter, Matthew, John and the others who were sinners just like me. Jesus even got Himself into trouble for eating and drinking with sinners just like me. (Matthew 9:11-13). And then Jesus gave His own life for sinners like me...

Thank you for letting me ramble on and please remember to keep this all confidential. This has been very helpful for me. I like our church better now that I’ve been able to talk with you about this today. It helps when I realize that I can go to our church and I don’t have to pretend to be a saint when God knows that I’m a sinner saved by grace.